To You/Me

scared - I stand in front of you - watching, waiting, staring at you - thoughts begin to flow - thoughts of rage and anger - of broken illusions, scattered dreams and guilt - then I speak out with a silent scream - then you reply with a silent grin - and I blame you - I blame you for it all - for my fears and insecurities - for my happiness and misery - yes, I blame you for all that and more - I do not want to hear, I do not want to listen - so I cover my ears with my hands - with your hands - but your voice is mine – so I can`t - and flesh is weak - words are thick and sharp at times - and they cut deep inside - they cut strings and chords in my head, in my heart - but I am still standing - waiting, hating, bleeding inside - still blaming you, still - loving you - and I face you - and only you - hating the way you mimic - loathing the way you play along - amazed by the way you listen - and you always do - reflecting me – reflecting the ugliness and the beauty of my innocence lost long ago - but I do forgive you, for it is me - and not God who is to forgive - and I promise I will try and learn - like I did uncountable times before - (not that I do not mean it, but you know how we humans can be) - then I turn and step away - from you, from me - a mirror in a room of my own