Disappear (Again)

It's been a few days now
I am close... or closer
But I still feel far away
Sure you won't understand
But it feels like running full speed
Towards a giant wall
You know where you wanna go
You know what you wanna reach
You know where it ends
And where it begins
You even know its full dimensions
But you can't control it
You know you won't stop
At least I won't
Some things may seem impossible
They are not
I know believing is achieving
But it goes beyond that
By not believing we do not make it impossible
We just hold it back for a while
It's amazing the doors that can be opened inside your mind just by reaching the tip of your toes with the tip of your fingers just right there before your nose
It's amazing how naive we can become
It's amazing how we can just disappear
And disappear again just by holding back that, which we cannot stop
That, which we cannot control
That, which we are so afraid of
So yes, I'm gonna hit that wall
Flat face against it
Eyes wide open
And then.... I'll disappear ...Again