Nights

I'm lying here in my bed
Hat still on
Thinking random thoughts
Characters playing for me
Just like almost every night
for the past few weeks
So faithful
Almost unnoticed
Yet so present
So I'm waiting
For it to disappear
Or you showing up
None of which could possibly happen
Uncertainty
The wait
Such a weight to speed up my sinking
Deep down
And deeper down even still
Where I used to linger
Where I used to hide
It seemed right and safe back then
Erasing thoughts could be so simple
So easy
If we weren't that much complicated
Insecure
So reluctant to let go
Just a call to say 'goodbye'
Or 'hello'
But it is always a 'don't go'
but 'don't come too close'
So I stand in the middle
And wait
While everything around keeps moving
So I take off my hat
I turn around
And I sleep