Buses

I can't stand people on buses
The way they behave and invade spaces
The faces, the smells
The looks on their faces whenever you reach out to open a window
or for an empty seat
I can feel their worries, their everyday problems they carry as a backpack on their way home
Tolerance
I wish I knew what it means
What it really means
Is it thinking and not saying?
Hating and disapproving in silence?
I'm quite sure that's not it
I sometimes wish they'd all jut disappeared,
gone forever
I certainly wouldn't miss them
Their missery, their sadness
They keep me out of focus
Disctracting me from the viewing
Buildings and people on foot
Somehow they seem momentarily intruiguing
Somewhat interesting
Two different worlds separated by a thin piece of glass
I like how the rain distorts and reflects whatever stands on the other side
Specially traffic lights
So I take a different bus everyday
Or I simply walk
Same streets, same stops become almost unbearable
Overwhelming at times
To the point I could just scream
Or cry
Would I feel any different if the bus was empty?
If it was just me and the world outside?
Could I feel any safer?
Any more comfortable?
What is it that I find so repulsive?
Is it closeness?