This feeling...

I hate to hear you like that
I hate to read you like that
I hate phone lines and typing windows
I hate the fact I can`t actually see you,
but in pictures
or hold you,
like I used to
I hate the miles and kilometers
that set us apart
I hate this whimsical feeling of running
the urge to be there
when I'm actually here
The calm of the thought that you know, and I know
that I'm there, being actaully here

NUMB3RS

23 cigarrettes
...32...
54 cigarrettes
on the count down
to my way down
through the couch
to the smokey land
of nothingness
to the 9 to 5 working hours
of numbness
7 cigarrettes still lit up
smokey mountain of 13 pikes
19 pages still in white
5 hours, 7 minutes...
for the alarm clock to strike
2:36 and I'm ready
2:37 I'm steady
2:38 I can't wait
72 cigarrettes
on the count down
on my way down