CHANGE

You can laugh if you want
You can laugh at me
You can laugh at my indecision
Choices
Whether to remain exactly the same
Whether to change exactly the opposite
I've chosen already to change
But in the meantime
In the process of assimilation
What do I do?
Should I leave it all behind
Will they haunt me back?
Should I keep some things to myself
Will they sneak up from time to time?
Choices meaning uncertainty
Meaning fear of what is yet about to come
You can laugh if you want
And I will laugh back

Strange DAY

I have this feeling
like something is about to change
like something is coming through
and I can't tell exactly, not nearly what it is thats on its way
to hit me
to strike me right on my chest
Things are about to change
things are about to turn in a different direction
a direction that's heading somewhere else but here
I have this feeling that
I'll be back on track
I can feel it in the air
the smell of silence
the calm of that which surrounds me now
and no longer will be
I know something is about to happen
I know something is about to be just different
I know something is waiting to be
I know something is coming for me
and it's going to get me
And I know i have no intention of resisting
I know I've been waiting for this
This feeling inside me
This feeling arround me
This feeling
Beyond me

This feeling...

I hate to hear you like that
I hate to read you like that
I hate phone lines and typing windows
I hate the fact I can`t actually see you,
but in pictures
or hold you,
like I used to
I hate the miles and kilometers
that set us apart
I hate this whimsical feeling of running
the urge to be there
when I'm actually here
The calm of the thought that you know, and I know
that I'm there, being actaully here

NUMB3RS

23 cigarrettes
...32...
54 cigarrettes
on the count down
to my way down
through the couch
to the smokey land
of nothingness
to the 9 to 5 working hours
of numbness
7 cigarrettes still lit up
smokey mountain of 13 pikes
19 pages still in white
5 hours, 7 minutes...
for the alarm clock to strike
2:36 and I'm ready
2:37 I'm steady
2:38 I can't wait
72 cigarrettes
on the count down
on my way down

COLD

Running towards the wall
Landing on frozen soil
Still there is hope for me
There is hope for all I need
Cold
Underneath your skin
Cold
When your down on your knees
Choke
When your story is told
Choke
For all you have done
Stand up to you pride
Tremple on it till it dies
Comfort
Crying in the dark
Comfort
Aching in the light
Cold
When there's noone home
Cold
When you've sold your soul
(to the screaming ghost)
Broken
When your heart is sore
Broken
When you are left alone
Cold
When your dreams ar rotten
Cold
Since your life was stolen
Stand up to your fears
Cut deep inside till they bleed
Hope
When hopless is all you know
Hope
When disappointment is engraved to your core
Grow
When you can't climb the wall
Grow
Till you see the world from above
Cope with your life
Cope with your lies
Cope with everything and leave it behind

CAKE

I want cake
Not chips
But cake...
I don't want what I'm given
I don't care where or if I'm driven
I want what I WANT
I want what I need, what I crave
and what I want is CAKE

I'm sick of all the 'what it could have been's,
I'm sick of the 'what if's and the oh so annoying 'BECAUSE',
I'm sick of excuses,
And I am sick of you,
coz NO, you don't have cake
And I do not want chips

This time...
I'm gonna get me CAKE
And I'm gonna share it all with myself
I'm gonna be selfish
I'm gonna care about ME
coz it's always about someone else's needs
But what about me?

I want cake...
And that's what I'm gonna get.

And so we SMILED

Greet the lions
and say goodbye to the WORLD you now know
Chase after the rain
and never return...
Relish the night
and never come back...